"Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you."
{Isaiah 46:4}
There is not a single moment where we are abandoned. In every circumstance, God is good, He is faithful, and He is there. So why, then, is there such a painful absence of peace in our lives?
Only until recently, I carried the bits and pieces of pain, heartache, and insecurities I've suffered over the past few years with me. As much as I've wanted to see them go, I've held on to them for dear life, believing the lie that those sufferings are my new identity. I've always been fully prepared to equip an unfamiliar face with the painful details of my past so that they can better understand why I am the way that I am, and, just maybe, give them a reason to run the other direction. I've built the walls around my heart so excruciatingly high, that only the truly devoted and curious may scale them for a peek into my closed off world.
And, oh my word, I wish I could put into words the pangs of bitter understanding I feel whenever I see a fellow human walking around with the same cloud of pain, fatigue, and broken pieces hanging over their heads. Have you ever just sat in a bookstore and watched as the people file in and out, going about their daily lives? Can you see the difference between the free and the oppressed? Are you able to read the circles underneath their eyes, and see that almost nonexistent plea for something more as they glance at you and quickly look away? If you look closely enough, you can nearly see their past riding upon their shoulders, whispering painful reminders of who they used to be.
Beloved, it doesn't have to be like that. I mean it. Just as we dump the change from our pockets onto the counters of convenience stores, we can dump our broken pieces at the foot of the cross. Maybe it's all we have. Maybe these pieces are our only possessions that give us any sense of feeling at all. That, honestly, is a notion that I think excites our Maker enough to make Him do a little jig. Why? Well, my dear, there is no easier way to fill up a person than when they are completely empty of themselves. Can you imagine the smile that takes over His face as you hand Him the keys to the dungeon you've kept your sad heart in? Even better, can you imagine those broken pieces being replaced with complete and utter peace?
Today, God has got me in a place of reckless abandon, and I can't help but share it with you all. The past experiences and current anxieties I used as the bricks in my wall that held my heart captive are being furiously destroyed by the love and faithfulness of my Groom. He has made me into a new creation, and I am not who I used to be. I have traded my broken and despaired pieces in for peace that transcends all understanding, and I encourage you to do the same.
"In my anguish I cried to the LORD, and he answered by setting me free."
{Psalm 118:5}
"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death."
{Romans 8:1-2}
You don't have to be weighed down by who you were, darling. Christ died to set us free from that fate. When you're ready to stop believing the lies, He's ready to set your heart free.
-Madison
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