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This is my love story. Both of them. And yes, I am unashamed to admit that I am hopelessly in love with two men. C'mon, keep reading. It gets so much better.
I'll start with my darling, Chris.
I met Chris, a little over a year ago, at a camp I've gone to for the past six years. I still remember the butterflies I got as I looked at him for the first time. Which, by the way, was something I was so unprepared for. In fact, just a few days earlier, I had sworn off of relationships, and was even looking for an opportune time to end my life.
I met Chris, a little over a year ago, at a camp I've gone to for the past six years. I still remember the butterflies I got as I looked at him for the first time. Which, by the way, was something I was so unprepared for. In fact, just a few days earlier, I had sworn off of relationships, and was even looking for an opportune time to end my life.
The moment I met Chris, God stepped into my life and said, "See? I told you I had something better for you."
Two days later, God set me completely free from the chains of depression, and set me on a journey to know Him. And with tears in my eyes, I am pleased to say that Chris has been a major part of that journey.
You see, my past "love" stories have, in reality, been "disappointment" stories; "pain" stories; "you are not loved" stories; "abandonment" stories. They were stories that I really didn't like, but couldn't put down until the end*.
*(Sidenote: You are stronger than you think; you have the ability to let go of the people that do not deserve to be with someone as incredible as you.)
Getting to know Chris was a wonderfully painful process, because I was unaware that I am worthy of love; I am capable of it, and it is possible for a man to love me the way love is intended to be. It is totally possible to be loved, even if I am a mess of a person.
Chris was put in my life to love me, and he has done so, beautifully.
We did not start dating until February 18th of this year, but, let me tell you, I fell for him the day I met him. And that is not an exaggeration. I'll admit, I was skeptical at first, but I am now a believer of "love at first sight."
I am finally in a place where I know how to love and be loved. I'm still learning, everyday, how to become a better, godly woman for this young man. We talk about our future together; getting married, what theme we want for the wedding, what song we should walk down the aisle to*, our kids' names, starting a ministry together, traveling the world with one another, etc, etc, etc.
*("My Dear" by Bethel.)
We aren't a perfect couple. We argue, struggle with understanding one another, and make a mess of things, sometimes. But I would never, even for a second, consider ending our relationship based on those small factors, and I know that he wouldn't, either. Christ is our rock, and we will continue to build our relationship and future upon our firm foundation, until the day we join our Lord in heaven*.
*(Just so you know, this is where the stories become intertwined.)
Chris wouldn't know how to love me, nor me love him, if it weren't for the love that Jesus pours out on us, every single day. Two thousand years ago, our past mistakes and failures were nailed upon a cross and crucified with our Savior. The love of my Father is so great, that He considers me, a broken mess of a person, worthy of being loved.
He will forever be my First Love, and I will forever be loved unconditionally by Him. Where the love shared between Chris and I may fail, our Beloved Father lacks in nothing.
Now, I didn't write all of that just to entertain, but to encourage. You may feel unworthy of love and affection. You may feel like your love story is a book that will never be opened. But I'm here to tell you that you're wrong. I did not deserve any of the love that was suddenly poured out on me, and is still poured out on me, today.
If you are tired, alone, and scared, can I share something with you?
Wait. God has something better for you.
I'm sorry, but Nicholas Sparks could never write a love story as beautiful as the stories I just told you. He can't.
Be encouraged, lovelies. You are capable of loving, and you are capable of being loved.
-Madison
